Flintasticism
1) There are many gods
2) All gods are spirits
3) All living animals have spirits
4) When a 'lower' animal dies, it's soul becomes non-corporeal
5) When that soul is freed of Earthly bonds, it may gather believers and become a god or goddess depending on the believers
6) All gods need believers or they die
7) If a god dies, it is born as a human
8) If you are human, you are a god
9) Worship yourself
10) Don't overdo it
11) When you die, you go to Lewiston, Maine if you have sinned
12) When you die, you go to Aruba if you have not sinned
13) There's no such thing as sin
14) Except child molesters and sex offenders
15) And people who needlessly and ceaselessly hurt people
16) A lot
17) They suck
18) And people who turn the bass up in their cars waaaaaaaay too loud
19) They suck, too
20) They're going to Lewiston
21) All of them
22) Thou shalt not drink of the fermentation of animal products
23) They taste like ass soup
24) Addendum to #1, yes, even God is a god
25) Don't fuck with me
26) Practice responsible hedonism
27) Practice positive selfishness
28) If you have questions, ask them
29) There IS such thing as a dumb question, so learn how to think a bit
30) Why is corduroy?
31) See?
32) You shall observe no Saviors, you are the Savior
33) Do a good job, now
34) There was something else, I know it
35) It's right on the tip of my mind…
36) Oh, yes.
37) Sex without intention of procreation is not only acceptable, but preferable.
38) Use protection
39) Go play nice with the other kids
40) Disregard this if you want to go to Lewiston…